Am I Contemplating Suicide

Mr. Africa Poetry Lounge!

Sitting here thinking that life wont get better,
contemplating the unthinkable,
wondering how it all came to this,
wondering if it's the right thing to do.
I feel that my life has no purpose, that all hope is lost,
wondering why GOD has allowed this depression to linger,
willing to pay the final cost.
I have accomplished a few things;
furthered my education, traveled to Europe,
raised a son to be an adult;
taught him values, cultural pride,
and told him to do the right thing,
to enjoy his everyday life.
I am not feeling sorry for myself,
I just know that it is time,
instead of my life lingering along in despair,
and continuing with its' decline---
I want to unwind,
I know life could be divine,
but in time,
life has let me down,
I don't want to stick around,
I just want to lie down,
forget all the hard times,
I wish that life could rewind,
I realize that life keep letting me down.
I therefore know it's time,
time to leave my fellow man.
Some may say that I gave up to easy,
some may not even care;
some may say negative things,
saying how I have now brought pain.
No one had to walk in my shoes,
no one really knew.
People took my outer appearance for happiness,
seeing how I lived, and admiring my dress,
saying to themselves that I must be truly blessed;
no one knew that my bills were all past due,
I played it off so well,
no one knew that I was extremely blue.
I saw no way out,
I saw no reason to live,
I saw no hope,
and the pressures of life just would not give.
I refuse to continue to live this miserable life,
I no longer want to feel pain,
my life has no meaning,
no one in particular is to blame.
Am I contemplating suicide.

Written by Michelle Phillips

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