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...Cycle


Pitch black is this place I sit in
Wondering if the sins
I've committed in past have come
Back to haunt me
Taunt me...
Teach me lessons, convict me
When I have forgotten my crimes
Not sure which indiscretion I am being punished for
Not sure if it's a mass compilation, or
If it's a trickle effect and there's more to come?
All I know is that this time, right now, in this place - I'm numb
I want to feel, but I can't...
I want to deal, but I can't...
What I can feel is my heart beating out of my chest
Closing my eyes, but I still can't rest
Lord why is it that when I think I'm good you send a test?
And apparently I fail...
Again, and again...
The flesh is weak, and I mean more than sexually
I lost my footing this time because he simply gets me
He listens so intently...
Basically, I don't have to change a thing and he is interested in me...
And I don't get that regularly...
And it's not an abnormal attraction
In some way or another, everyone wants that interaction
Mental satisfaction...
Longing for that kismet that only seems real in the movies
And without all the other stuff, he's right here and real to me...
But that shit's not ok,
Why is it he that is willing to do things you won't, say what you won't say
I do and don't want it to be him, I do and don't want it to be you...
But He's not a temporary fill,
Still here I am, wanting to pour my heart out to you...
But I can't get time spent loving and cuddling
No conversations unless it leads to arguing or fucking
What's real here?
What's the deal here?
Are we talking future
Or just coexisting here?
My words fall on deaf ears
You hear
Me, but you can't fathom actually listening
You been gone so long, you don't know what's missing
Tired of talking now, so I'm muting this station...
But I get it now,
My dark space is a reflection of my actions
Dark always comes to light when you are the distraction
Now I'm chilling with dude because he everything that's not you
But, payback's a bitch, she was doing what you are doing, you were doing what I am doing, and that's how I got you.
Damn...

Written by Emma Joan

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